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11 Things To Give Up To Get More From A Marriage

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Here are the top 11 things to give up, to get what you desire from your marriage.

Marriage is a tricky cake to bake. But once you have all the proper ingredients in the perfect amount, you can have one healthy and joyful married life. For once, it’s safe to say, happy marriage is not a myth. Most of us forget that to achieve something we need to give up on certain things.

And surprisingly ‘these things’ you need to give up are not useful to any individual in any relationship, be it marriage or otherwise. Some of these are going to be things that will help you improve yourself as an individual.

For a marriage to flourish, its necessary for both the partners to work on their personal issues and make a joint contribution to the marriage to bloom. Once these toxic aspects of a relationship is removed, your marriage life will be smoother, saving it from culminating into a divorce.

Here are 11 things to give up, to get more from your marriage:
1. Abandon unrealistic expectations

Marriage should be like an empty canvas where both of the partners put in colours to create a new masterpiece – let the marriage grow into what it is supposed to be. Unrealistic expectations have high chances of suffocating a relationship as most of them are unachievable and based on irrational ideas about the other person.

It is necessary that a marriage is based on expectations which are possible for the other person to fulfill without having to compromise too much on their parts. When the expectations get unattainable, both the partners fail to stand up to themselves which lead to added up resentment and bitterness in the marriage.

Anxiety disorder

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William Shakespeare wrote,

“Present fears are less than horrible imaginings.”
It is important to remember, when one’s mind tends to drift, imagining can be positive, negative, or neutral.  It is the state of our reactions to our emotions and bodily sensations, whether we attach or detach to our fears and anxiety.  Ultimately, the stories we tell ourselves can dictate our state of mind and well-being.

Psychologist Kazimierz Dabrowski proposed that bright individuals have greater imaginations, intensities in five domains (intellectual, emotional, sensory, psychomotor, and imaginative), and elevated experiences in the world.  Bright individuals may be more prone to disabling and destructive elements of anxiety because they typically have expanded emotional brain networks, increased sensory processing, and elevated physiological responses to stressors, both real and imagined.Intelligent people report 25% greater rates of anxiety compared to the national average.  In particular, the brain circuitry, hormonal stress response, and bodily reactions to stress can become hard-wired, where bright individuals can get stuck in a negative cycle.  When the sympathetic nervous system is activated, elevated levels of cortisol rewire brain circuits where the emotional networks cycle, the prefrontal cortex (responsible for decision-making) is temporarily offline, inhibiting effective decision-making.

Science suggests, people with anxiety disorder have these 5 superpowers.

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Science suggests, people with anxiety disorder have these 5 superpowers.

Let’s find out:

‘Anxiety Disorder’:

It isn’t unnatural to panic about a thing we have done or thing we are about to do. We all feel that unstoppable ticking of the clock as if it’s permanently fitted to our mind. It gets on our nerves, makes us anxious.

Anxiety is something we experience always while doing one thing or the other. It’s something we all live with. While we can’t reject the fact that anxiety is bothersome at times, you will be happy to know that having anxiety means we are blessed with superpowers. Want to know what are they?

We have made a list of 5 special powers that a person with Anxiety Disorder has. Let’s check them out.[expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]Read more hidden text[/expander_maker]

(1) It helps you detect dangers first and is actually a life-saver:

The reason is that of the Anxiety Disorder you have. People with Anxiety Disorder are more aware of the danger lurking around them.

They are more cautious and tend to pick up any negative sign which might give an inkling of trouble.

In a study published in the European Journal of Psychology, it was found that people a ho had a higher level of anxiety were the ones to receive any signal of danger and were the first ones to react to them. So, this, in fact, is actually a good for you and having you around keep your peers safe.

(2) It helps you see through the lies:

You are always anxious about things. No matter how much people try to convince you and sugar-coat you, you are not going to buy them because you are always anxious in protecting yourself and your near and dear ones from others.

You are careful and observant which helps you see through the lies. If you find one thing uncanny or not matching the things said or events happened, you will be the first one to detect the lie. It might cost you a lot of courage to spill the beans and this is where you need to focus on. It’s good that you can’t be cheated upon too.

It might cost you a lot of courage to spill the beans and this is where you need to focus on. It’s good that you can’t be cheated upon too.

(3) It guides you in understanding the vibrations of others:

Last year, your friend introduced you to her fiance and you were absolutely not comfortable with him.

Your friend could clearly see that and even though she knows that you can sense the energy of others, she with her blind love accused you of being too anxious.

Later on, you were the one to be there with her when she found him cheating on her while draining most of her savings on the excuse of sustaining his business.

People with anxiety disorders can understand the vibrations of people around them. They can easily identify the positive and negative frequencies and can become aware of the intentions of these people.

(4) It makes you empathetic:

You are the most empathetic one of the lot, and just not only concerned about yourself but also concerned about the lives of others around you.

You can understand exactly what a person is going through and you are ready to help them out. In You, People find not just a friend in need but a stranger-in-need too.[expander_maker id=”1″ more=”Read more” less=”Read less”]Read more hidden text[/expander_maker]

(5) It actually increases your IQ:

You have a situation and you are extremely anxious about it. You analyze it and figure out all the possible outcomes and since you are anxious, you will be the one to figure out possibilities which other’s can’t.

Researchers have found out that people with Anxiety Disorders have an increased IQ and happen to be the smarter ones.

People with Anxiety Disorders aren’t the ones who need treatment; rather, they should be cherished and nurtured.

They are the strongest ones we can ever find and they are the ones who can actually achieve a lot in their lives. Feel lucky if you know some or if you are one yourself!

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According to your zodiac sign here’s why you’re afraid of falling in love.

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According to your zodiac sign here’s why you’re afraid of falling in love.

Though there are exceptions, we here have tried to take into account the personality traits that are unique to the signs and from there tried to find possible reasons for fear in the spheres of attachment, romantic intimacy and relationships.

So here it goes.

Aries
(March 21st-April 19th)

They are really fiery in their passions. When they obsess over a particular person romantically, they do it ardently. Their greatest fear is their same passionate intensity backfiring; that is their passion not being reciprocated and in turn, appearing to be just an overbearing personality.

They get attached with difficulty but when they do, it’s nigh impossible to shake them from their resolve. And hence, they never want to be the one to break the relationship up.

They don’t want to choke you up, and no matter what it appears to be, they just want to protect you; from EVERYTHING. But their execution of this protection is oftentimes known to be problematic with frequent usage of the phrase “I am protecting you from myself (by breaking up)”; hence proceed prepared.

Taurus
(April 20th- May 21st)

Now, this is another of the problematic signs; like bulls in a fighting pen, they are focused when they are in love. Thing is, the stage before is the icky one. They are VERY independent and career-oriented people, with concern ONLY for material gains.

Their greatest fear would be of the effect their romantic other has on their chalked out perfect lives and goals. Now I don’t know if this is consolation enough or not, (and this is true for Aries as well) once you two are a couple, even if you don’t last, your effect will last on their lives. Once they let someone in, they stay in one way or the other.

Gemini
(May 22nd-June 21st)

A Gemini is an airy sign. They spend their entire lives trying to figure out how to be around people and how to fit in.

Their greatest fear would be not knowing how to be around you and how to act appropriately. And more importantly, they are an undecided lot; if they fall for you, they WILL be confused, about everything because they will continue trying to figure out how to be around you and other people and while trying to sail in two boats, sticky situations will follow.

Cancer
(June 22nd-July 22nd)

Now, this is my favorite.
They are by far the most ideal sign romance-wise, tailor-made for long-term relationships. They are committed, thoughtful, imaginative, loyal, friendly; if you end up marrying a Cancer, the only fights you’ll have will be about what you want to have for dinner; and the most likely outcome would be them agreeing with you.

Sounds perfect? There is one tiny catch. They are insecure to a morbid level. And it is mostly about how if you are happy if they are treating you well enough. This has been known to lead to a number of fights. Also, they have high expectations from romances; which causes them to commit as much as they do.  If and when you do not meet these expectations, there might be episodes.

Leo
(23rd July- August 22nd)

They are a proud race who values their pride and extreme rationality above everything else. Their only fear: Love itself. They are aware of the rose-tinted glasses love brings as an added package and of its consequences. They know how their senses will be compromised and their pride shattered and this will invariably cause them to shy away.

Virgo
(August 23rd- September 22nd)

Their greatest strength is also their greatest shortcoming: the ability to see the best in the people around them. Their personalities have something Pre-Lapserian about them, innocent and unable to process the thorns in beds of roses.  As a result, they will invariably be afraid to fall in love, out of fear of betrayal; something that has been a constant in the smallest or largest of ways all their lives.

Libra
(September 23rd- October 22nd)

They are all too aware of their own faults and shortcomings. They know they aren’t perfect. And this is their greatest fear as well: Ending up showing their faults to the one they love and cause disappointment.  Causing someone else pain is the last thing that can enter their minds which is often driven by a strict sense of justice.

Scorpio
(October 23rd- November 22nd)

They are some of the most alert and perceptive individuals you will meet in life. Also, they happen to be quite judgmental type.

They can spot flaws in others very quickly and quite accurately and this is also their greatest fear. If they fall in love with someone, they know that there is a possibility of them finding something they don’t like later on. This would make the entire romantic experience salty.

Sagittarius
(November 23rd- December 21st)

Fair disclaimer: They are some of the worst people you can fall in love with. They are restless and innately nomadic, even when it comes to relationships. Attachments stop meaning anything to them after a while.

They don’t have a fear; it’s their partners who should be afraid of them. They never want the other to be too comfortable and stable in a relationship; simply because it means settling. For them everything has to be a far-flung adventure and people must put up with them and never the other way around.

Capricorn
(December 22nd- January 20th)

They are loyal to a stubborn level. And they realize that even if things don’t work out their loyalty won’t leave their bedside in a hurry.
And that is their greatest fear.

Aquarius
(January 21st- February 18th)

They are oftentimes paradoxical in the way that they have high expectations from themselves and also pride. When they fall in love with someone, they know that they will end up carving across for themselves which would be too heavy to carry.  They will constantly fear not getting your approval and will dread disappointing you.

Pisces
(February 19th- March 20th)

Their greatest fear is being pulled out of the water of self-control they assume around them. They fear the vulnerability which comes with sharing your deepest and darkest secrets with the person they love.
And that is natural to everyone. They are also afraid of the fact that their partner might just enable this tendency of theirs, which is their getting too emotionally attached.

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Hello world!

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In their latest book, The Science of Couples and Family Therapy, Drs. John and Julie Gottman show that the couples who have high levels of trust and commitment to one another have longer and happier relationships.

When dealing with conflict, these trusting couples show affection and care for one another. They support each other’s emotional realities by turning towards each other when they are hurting.